Let's Not Say Goodbye
by ranichan
Summary: Just a sad little story. Miroku recieves a letter from the love of his life that explains that she is leaving and why she must go.


Miroku-sama,  
I cannot believe what I find myself doing and yet, know that it must be done. I cannot go on like this and therefore, I must leave. It is my time to part from our small family of warriors. Our battle with Naraku is not complete yet the circumstances that I face right now are forcing me to go... but before I do, I must tell you. Throughout our acquaintance, I have regarded you as less than a companion, at times, in fact, more like a nuisance but that was a false pretense. I admit, our meeting was a harsh and awkward one yet soon, despite the immediate tension between you, Inu Yasha and I, we soon found ourselves as traveling companions fighting for a common cause. A grope was all it took for me to see you as a corrupted priest yet with time, all it took was your constant kind gestures to see you in a new light. I could connect with you on terms that I never thought I would. We both put on cheery facades in hopes of appeasing our comrades knowing full and well that at any moment, fate could rip our lives away. Yet we continued to carry the burden with a silent dignity. The rest of the group... had something more to live for. The kitsune had us. We were his family that he would live and fight for. We were all he had left. The rugged hanyou, though appearing to be obnoxious, was torn by destiny to fight for his love in the battle against Naraku. And of course, the girl, my only female companion had a brother somewhere to fight for.  
You and I aren't like them. You fight to save your lineage and avenge your family and I... I live on for you. I have no family in this world that in the end, I can go to and be with. My kin and I have been separated in a manner where my brother doesn't know me anymore. With the exception of short comings and goings, I haven't held his presence in so long... it's like he never had a sister. To my family, I am of another world. So, I live for you, my only family, and in the end know that you, too, will be taken away from me. Fate will soon see fit to quake my world once more when it is your time to depart from this life. I was placed on this Earth by fate to be a pawn in Naraku's plot and that duty I have fulfilled. Fate has used my family, my emotions... EVERYTHING to keep me torn.  
If you are my only reason for living then why am I leaving you now? Well, you and I both know that your time is drawing near. The pains in your hand are becoming more frequent and stronger. I fear your demise now more than ever. You see, I had fooled myself into believing that we would defeat the monster that had made slaves of us all but now I find that with your time dwindling, Naraku is only getting stronger. Without you in my life, there is no reason for me to fight. Without you, I have nothing more and nothing more to add to this fight.  
Love has a way of blinding us to faults and the deeper the love, the blinder we become yet even with the strong feelings I have for you that I dare to only admit on paper, there was one fault I could not see past. That not being the tendency of letting your groping hands wander but instead how you use them to lie. To lie to everyone. To lie to me. To hide yourself from me even though I will love you unconditionally. Even though everyone sees you as a lech, I see how each perverted gesture pains you. You muddle your family name to keep me away from you. You fear that my being close to you will, in the end, make me suffer but love is a strange thing. I once heard that 'tis better to love then lost than to have never loved at all. In the war of good versus evil, even if we don't win, time will take you away from me but as the winds of the wind tunnel drag you away from me, I'll still tell you that you did not live a life unloved. I wish you knew how much I want you to be happy. Even if, in the end, I am unhappy, do you not see that at least I will have experienced love? We were destined to be together and destined to be apart at the same time but in the short time that we have left, don't you think that we should be happy? Your demise will bring pain to us all but I want to have memories that I can at least look back on and think that I, probably a mere child in your eyes, had encountered love with an open heart. You are and will be my first and only love.  
The funny thing is. you're right. I will suffer when you die. I probably won't be able to take it and I can't say that I'm not ashamed. You have fought death everyday of your life and not only that but you used to accept death and I understand that I now stand in the way of your submission. I'm sorry for making life so much harder for you, however, in your hurry to accept death or fight for life, I always knew that in the good fight, you'd give your life to succeed. We are nearing the day when we will be forced to fight. I can feel it and know that you feel it as well. Our acute sense for detecting evil warns us both of the upcoming peril we will shortly be in when we will be forced to wage battle against Naraku and his many reincarnations. Do not think that I flee for my life or out of fear of the upcoming battle though the war does kind of scare me. My only fear stems from losing you and if I can avoid it, I'd like to leave you with your visage set in my mind as you are now. Not the pained expression as your own hand eats you alive, nor the angst and fear on your face as Kagura's wind control out powers your own. I just cannot take having you so near me, yet so far. Time is waging its own war against you. Your mask of confidence is cracking yet you continue to hide your feelings for me. I leave now, knowing that to lose you in the war, I will be crushed by your death and my unrequited love. Yes, I love you but either you wish not to hurt me in not returning my feelings or you wish not to hurt me in dying, either way, I cannot take it anymore. So, I leave you, my heart in my throat, and hope that you can forgive me. I guess I am a child. A selfish, spoiled schoolgirl in love but I must go nonetheless. I am returning home and hope that you will be safe and I send my love to protect you. We'll never see each other again unless I see you on the other side, and I hope that we can pick up where destiny forced us to leave off. As for communication, tell Inu Yasha I am sealing the well for good and hope that he can forgive me for leading him on. Tell Sango, that I wish her luck in saving the life of her brother. Give Shippo a hug for me and let him know that I'll never forget him. I hope that my family will receive me well. I have been gone so long and have grown accustomed to this world but I must leave for my true home and hope that your boyish face will be among the crowd as I mope through the streets of Japan alone.  
Lastly, I must say that I'm sorry for not telling you all this in person but I felt it would be more like the romantic tragedies of Shakespeare if we didn't say goodbye. Goodbye means forever but someday, fate will permit us to meet again.  
Forever yours,  
Kagome  
  
As Miroku read the letter left on his bedroll, a tear traced down his cheek and made a wet spot on his purple shawl. He tucked the paper within the confines of his robes and wiped the tears away.  
"Something wrong, houshi-sama?" Sango asked as she saw Miroku's grief- stricken face. She approached him warily.  
"Of course not, Sango dear!" Miroku cried as he grazed her buttocks with his cursed hand. With the expected response, Miroku received a sharp slap across his face. As Sango stalked away angrily muttering something about perverted monks and traps, Miroku touched his stinging cheek gingerly and whispered a name in the wind. "Kagome."  
The End  
  
A/N: lol I hope you weren't expecting the letter to be from Kagome because that's where I was aiming but it was hard to describe Sango without using her name and trying to make it sound like Kagome and vice versa. But I hope you enjoyed it! As always these characters don't belong to me! 


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